As of this moment, you’ve made an important decision.

That was exciting news. As I chatted with my client. “You’ve decided to improve your life by listening and paying attention to your feelings and emotions. You’re finally giving your grief a voice, and by doing that your now being true to yourself. Amazing! No more suppressing and ignoring your feelings, you’re getting it all out, and focusing on you, and that’s great! What a gift to yourself!”

 

My client was so ready to dump her emotional baggage, and let go of the pain from her grief.

 

As human beings, we wear many hats and have many responsibilities. For most, we work hard, we take care of others, we lend an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on. Many carry heavy childhood wounds of neglect, shame, blame, and fear. However, there comes a time in your life when you must focus on yourself.

 

This incredible woman who had reached out to me was determined to let go of her past and not let it define her future. She’d come to a point where she knew it was important to reconnect and focus on herself. She’s found some safe, loving friends to trust, communicate, and have fun with. She’s in a wonderful romantic relationship and doesn’t want to mess this one up. She knows that it’s time to release any, and all old limiting beliefs that no longer serve her, and it’s time to dump any emotional baggage that doesn’t belong to her. In doing so, she is beginning to trust, she’s willing to accept help, and ask for help when she needs it, and she’s ready and open to receive love, too. She knows that she’s a work in progress, but she’s serious, as she continues to commit to, opening her mind, opening her heart, and creating the life she truly deserves.

 

Is it easy? No!

 

Now in her early-sixties, my client feels ready to face and move through the grief and loss of her childhood. After growing up in a dysfunctional home filled with lies, abuse, and distrust. She is ready to let go of those toxic people and behaviors that have kept her feeling stuck and trapped for too many years. She is finally able to move out of her own way. She’s asked herself, “What do I stand to lose by not changing?” With that question she found the courage, and she is willing to feel the truth, ready to rebuild a sense of trust and safety that she never has felt before.

 

Together we worked through the Moving Beyond Program, which helped her to discover years of un-communicated and unresolved grief that still caused her emotional pain. She didn’t want to drag her heavy emotional baggage along anymore, as it only causes her to keep repeating past mistakes. Now, being in this wonderful new relationship, she wants to make changes. Ones which will allow her to make room for more love, happiness, and peace in her life.

 

She smiled, as she told me “I am so happy that I finally committed to making a decision.”

“It has allowed me to look more deeply into myself, to reconnect to who I really am as a person. It feels so good to let go of that heavy emotional pain. I truly needed to tell my story and let go of my grief. I’ve moved from isolation to connection, and I now know that the pain of staying the same is greater than the risk of making a change. I love how amazing it feels to truly give, and how good I feel to finally trust, and be totally honest with myself and others. I know that by expressing myself from a place of truth, my friendships have become stronger and feel more authentic and balanced. I am allowing myself to feel my feelings, and become more aware my thoughts. My life feels natural, and everything has become much easier.”

 

I am always amazed when people find the courage within themselves to face their demons. I’m amazed when they can let go of the familiar, and acknowledge that changes, challenges, and hardships, are there to help them grow. When they are finally ready to let go of their old stories from the past, the world, and life can have a much different appearance. Perhaps, become more meaningful and kind.

 

We all matter. We all have value. We all have the ability to care for ourselves and others. The decision-making process isn’t always easy and many people hate making decisions. Remember, when you delay making a decision, nothing changes, and you are, in fact, deciding not to decide! But, when you choose to move forward and take action, that’s one of the best decisions you can make.

What helps you make difficult decisions? Book a free 30 minute ‘tea with Diane’ and let’s chat.

 

“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.”
~ Flora Whittemore

The Journey
by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice —
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voice behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do —
determined to save
the only life that you could save.