Just recently I was chatting with a client about self-criticism. She was telling me how body image has always been a hard thing for her to deal with, she has never liked the way her body looks and she feels that it has been a constant battle for her most of her life. I realized that we don’t really talk about this topic very often, or openly, and it’s important not to push it away otherwise it turns into shame.
And we don’t want that!
Do you know that body image along with aging are the biggest culprits for self-criticism? Let’s face it, there is not much out there that’s geared toward older women. So, if you’re not trusting and appreciating who you are right now, then how can you have a great relationship with yourself? And most of us don’t.
We are always judging ourselves. The first thing we do when someone takes our picture is to zoom in on our self and start to criticize in some way shape and form. Whether we say it out loud or think it silently to ourselves, it’s usually there. The more you don’t like yourself, the more you sabotage yourself.
Take a moment and ask yourself… Would you look at your child that way or your pet and say those negative things about them? I think not!
So why not start to pay attention to what is coming up for you when you think about yourself and begin to notice how do you truly feel about you?
Notice what thoughts are there. How do you think of yourself at work? In your relationships? How do you think about your body, around food, alcohol, health or aging?
Really begin to become aware of what you are thinking about yourself, because that will determine how you feel about YOU. Pay attention to how often you tell yourself, “there must be something wrong with me or I’m not good enough”. Maybe it’s, “I’m not as attractive as I used to be… Or I’m too old”.
Are your thoughts creating positive emotions? Next time you look in the mirror or step on the scale, know that this is how it’s meant to be right now and accept and appreciate it. Accept and appreciate yourself without judgment.
Try this! Grab a pen and paper and come up with 5 things that you appreciate about yourself. Write them down and look and see if you believe them? Many people struggle to just find 5 things that they truly appreciate about themselves. Look at everything you have been through in your life. Look at what you want to create and work at it, keep adding to your list. Make it your daily practice. Because when you practice thinking thoughts of appreciation about yourself, that’s what you’ll get good at.
Self-Criticizing is a choice and thinking that something is wrong with you is a choice. Every negative thought is a choice. If you choose a negative thought, remember it’s no big deal until you make it a big deal. Become aware! Don’t give yourself permission to say negative things about yourself anymore as it doesn’t feel good and it doesn’t serve you.
Appreciate everything that your body has done and does for you. Appreciate the woman you have become and have it begin to feel good. Look for all of the amazing things you have done in your life. Beauty is always visible in many ways, so make yours shine.
Just for fun, every time you look in the mirror, give yourself a smile, a wink, or blow yourself a kiss. It’s time to start to really appreciate you. Be creative, have fun, lighten up and give yourself a break. Find new ways to appreciate yourself and remember this is truly who you are meant be. You are unique and amazing and everything about you is yours. This is your gift so enjoy it.
ALL of those negative thoughts and emotions are just limiting beliefs.
If you have difficulty with finding self-love or feel that it’s a constant struggle of self-criticism. Know that I am here to help and support you every step of the way. Please feel free to contact me and let’s have a chat.
You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. ~ Louise Hay
Diane Morgan works with women who are overwhelmed and torn by the aging process and have a hard time finding themselves and their place in life during and beyond midlife. She is the creator of a powerful transformational program Awaken Your Beauty Inside Out: Fall In Love With The Skin You’re In. This phenomenal program capitalizes on her 20 plus years of experience in the beauty industry and her expertise as a certified Master Empowerment Coach for women.